


Send My Love

by haatorii



Series: 25: A Destiel Story [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: 4 years, Alcoholism, Dean still hung up on Castiel, I still don't know how to do tags, M/M, Voice Messages, squint hard enough and you'll see hints of, voice mail
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-31
Updated: 2017-03-31
Packaged: 2018-10-13 08:18:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10509900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haatorii/pseuds/haatorii
Summary: Dean leaves messages on Castiel's voicemail.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Uh.. here's another one.
> 
> It's still unbeta'd, and probably everything that I will post in here will be the same.
> 
> Also, there's a questionable voicemail a day before Dean's birthday. It's not exactly NSFW but I suck at "writing sounds".

**November 03, 2014  
**   
3:47 AM

_“Hello, Cas. It’s me. How are you doing? I know it’s been almost five months but… I miss you. Please call me back.”_

 

**November 04, 2014  
1:25 AM**

_“Hello again. It’s me, Dean. I’m sorry. I love you. Please call me back.”_

 

**November 05, 2014  
2:21 AM**

_“Hello, it’s Dean. I’m sorry I keep calling. Will you please go out for a coffee with me? That’s all I’m asking. Please call me back.”_

 

**November 07, 2014  
12:18 AM**

_“Hello, it’s Dean. Sorry I keep calling. I know you don’t want to see me, not after what I did. I.. I just miss you so much, Cas. I miss your voice so much. Please call me back.”_

 

**November 16, 2014  
11:39 PM**

_“Hello, it’s Dean. Sammy’s almost done with school. He’s graduating with honors in spring. I thought I might tell you. Are you proud of him? Because I sure do. I uh.. Pleasecallmebackbye.”_

 

**November 17, 2014  
3:45 AM**

_“Hello, it’s Dean again. How are you doing? I forgot to ask that last time. I got excited with Sammy’s news. I’m fine, though. Still working at Bobby’s but I got another job that pays quite well. I’m sorry I’m talking about myself again. I really hope you’re well. Please call me back.”_

 

**November 22, 2014  
1:15 AM**

_“Hey, Cas. It’s Dean. I saw your brother the other day. He punched me in my throat. Classic Gabe, eh? It’s okay. I’m okay. I know you get worked up about your brother but I deserved it. After what I did to you I deserved worse. How are you?”_

 

**November 26, 2014  
4:30 AM**

_“Hello, Cas. It’s Dean again. I’m here at my mom’s. She said she missed you. She told me a story of how you kept on giving fish to her when we were younger then running back home after she got them. My mom said it was like you were courting me. I don’t remember it at all. I miss you. Please call me back.”_

 

**November 27, 2014  
3:02 AM**

_“Happy Thanksgiving, Cas. I will forever be thankful to have you in my life, even if you’re not exactly in my life anymore. ”_

 

**November 28, 2014  
11:54 PM**

_“Hello. It’s Dean again. I’m just glad you haven’t disconnected this line yet. At least I could still hear your voice. I want to hear your voice one more time. Please call me back. Bye.”_

 

**November 30, 2014  
11:03 PM**

_“Hey, Cas. It’s me. Funny how I keep on seeing your siblings around. They still won’t say anything about you, though. It’s okay. I understand. But it was really nice to see Anna again. Please tell her I said hi. Bye.”_

 

**December 03, 2014  
2:15 AM**

_“I missss youu Caass. Pliiss tok to m-- ”_

 

**December 03, 2014  
11:57 PM**

_“Sorry about last night. It won’t happen again.”_

 

**December 07, 2014  
2:23 AM**

_“It’s Dean again. I uh.. thank you for letting me leave messages, Cas. I miss you every single day. Please call me back.”_

 

**December 10, 2014  
11:35 PM**

_“HEY CAS, IT’S ME. I’M WITH GABE RIGHT NOW. HE DRAGGED ME INTO A CLUB AND I DIDN’T HAVE ANY CHOICE. IF HE DOESN’T GO BACK TONIGHT HE’S PROBABLY CRASHING AT MY PLACE. I’LL TAKE CARE OF HIM, DON’T WORRY. BYE.”_

 

**December 11, 2014  
10:10 AM**

_“Hi, Cas.. uh.. did Gabe come home safe? I was just checking. It’s been a few hours since he left my house, you see, and he’s not answering my calls. Just.. just call me or if you need anything. Thanks. Bye.”_

 

**December 14, 2014  
10:25 PM**

_“Hello. It’s me again. Dean. You probably know that since I’m the only creep in town calling you. I just want to hear your voice. I miss you…_

_Bye.”_

 

**December 20, 2014  
2:22 AM**

_“Hey, Cas. I’m at home again. I visited your parents the other day. I’m gonna sound real pathetic but *sniff* I miss them. Even after all these years, Chuck and Naomi were still the same. I couldn’t face them alone *sniff* so I brought Sammy with me. I didn’t cry in front of him, though. That’s just all kinds of low. They say you’ve never been home since we broke up. They miss you. *sniff* You should visit them. I bet I sound like a real hypocrite right now, huh. Sorry.”_

 

**December 25, 2014  
1:29 AM**

_“Merry Christmas, Cas.”_

 

**December 27, 2014  
1:36 AM**

_“Dad was here yesterday. He asked where were you. I think I forgot to tell him we’re not together anymore. Anyways, he brought Kate and Adam. He’s grown taller now, and that little shit was more charming than before, so there’s that. I bet you’d love him more now._

_Bye.”_

 

**December 28, 2014  
10:27 PM**

_“Hey, Cas. It’s Sam. I’m sorry my brother has been bothering you. We didn’t know he’s been calling you. If we had known we would’ve stopped him sooner. God, Dean why are you still calling Cas?_

_‘Hey Sammy! Gimme back mffone!’_

_He’s wasted right now. I’ll talk to him when there’s less alcohol in his system.. I’m sorry, Cas. Bye.”_

 

**December 29, 2014  
5:30 AM**

_“Sam found my Christmas gifts for you. He yelled at me. *glug* ahh… hey! HEY SAM! GIVE M--”_

 

**December 29, 2014  
6:08 PM**

_“...”_

 

**January 1, 2015  
2:30 AM**

_“Happy New Year, Cas. I miss you. Please call me back.”_

 

**January 1, 2015  
7:55 PM**

_“Sorry if I’m being a creep.”_

 

**January 5, 2015  
11:19 PM**

_“I love you so much. ”_

 

**January 23, 2015  
12:03 AM**

_“Ah… fuck. Shit.. yeah. Fuck yeah, Cas, fuck! Ah.. ah ah ah Cas Cas Cas, fuck! There, baby. I’msocloseI’msoclose Ca--”_

 

**January 23, 2015  
2:00 AM**

_“Oh my god ah.. *sniff* uurghh I’m sorryi’m sorryi’m sorry Please. I’m sorry, Cas. I’m so sorry. *sniff*”_

 

**January 25, 2015  
3:15 AM**

_“I’m sorry, Cas. I didn’t mean to do it. I’m sorry *thump* *crunch*_

_Aaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! Cas I’m sorry I cheated on you. I’msorryI’m sorryI’msorry. Please forgive me, Cas. I’m sorry. *Blergch*”_

 

**February 8, 2015  
8:16 PM**

_“I uh.. ahem.. I just got back from somewhere. Just want to tell you that. Sammy.. uh.. found me practically swimming in my vomit two weeks ago and did what he had to do._

_Everyday I wish you were here._

_Bye.”_

 

**March 18, 2015  
3:47 AM**

_“Hello. It’s me again. Bobby yelled at me today at work. He told my mom and now she’s worried about me. We fought over the phone. It’s not that important. Oh, by the way, Sammy’s graduating next week. On the twentieth. It would be glad if you come. He’ll be happy too. Bye.”_

 

**March 21, 2015  
1:30 AM**

_“I ah.. haha. Um.. Thank you.. for coming today, Cas. I never really thought you listened to my messages. I’m really glad that you were here for Sammy even if you hate my guts. I didn’t see you but he said you came. That nerd still looks up on you, you know. This is Dean, by the way. Bye.”_

 

**March 27, 2015  
9:00 PM**

_“Luke came by the garage today. I was surprised, to be honest, it’s been so long since the last time I saw him. The last time I saw him was when he moved away for college, and that was, what, seven years ago? He didn’t punch me. I don’t know if that’s a good thing or not. Maybe he wants to kill me? Not that I don’t deserve it, though. I probably deserve so much more._

_Well, this has gotten dark all of a sudden. Bye.”_

 

**April 2, 2015  
10:19 PM**

_“I was sorting some stuff in my storage and I found this letter you gave me when we were still in eleventh grade. I would read it to you but it would probably just make me cry. But what the hell, I’m reading it to you._

_Dean,_

_I saw this poem and I remembered you;_

_How Do I Love Thee?  
By Elizabeth Barrett Browning_

_How do I love thee? Let me count the ways._  
_I love thee to the depth and breadth and height_  
_My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight_  
_For the ends of Being and ideal Grace._  
_I love thee to the level of every day’s_  
_Most quiet need, by sun and candlelight._  
_I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;_  
_I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise._  
_I love with passion put to use--”_

 

**April 2, 2015  
10:22 PM**

_“In my old griefs, and with my childhood’s faith._  
_I love thee with a love I seemed to lose_  
_With my lost saints,--I love thee with the breath,_  
_Smiles, tears *sniff*, all of my life!--and *sniff*, if God choose,_  
_I shall but love thee better after death._

_I love you, Dean._

_Aww, fuck. *sniff* I told you I’m gonna cry again. Uhhh…_

_Good night, Cas.”_

 

**April 5, 2015  
10:46 PM**

_“Hello, Castiel. This is Anna. Where are you? I’ve tried calling your other numbers but you’re not answering. I’m worried about you. If you’re home, call me back.”_

 

**April 6, 2015  
10:46 PM**

_“Hey, little bro! Where are you? Let’s hang out! I know a place where you could get some, if you know what I mean. Ehehehe. Call me back.”_

 

**April 7, 2015  
10:49 PM**

_“Castiel. This is Luke. Where are you. Call everyone, they’re worried.”_

 

**April 7, 2015  
11:39 PM**

_“Cassie, when are you gonna get your head out of your ass? Why are you sulking? You did a good decision. He hurt you. Tremendously, I might add. Call us, please.”_

 

**April 7, 2015  
11:40 PM**

_“This is Balthazar, by the way.”_

 

**May 3, 2015  
11:45 PM**

_“Hello, it’s me. Dean. It’s Sammy’s birthday tomorrow. I know how much the both of you mean to each other. I don’t know if you want to see him but I do know you don’t want to see me so I will not hang around with Sam tomorrow. Just want you to know.. just in case. Bye, Cas.”_

 

**May 4, 2015  
11:49 AM**

_“Hey, Clarence, it’s Meg! I got this number from.. I don’t fucking care. Visit meeeeee Clarence! Let’s have lunch! I can’t wait to see your mug! See ya.”_

 

**May 5, 2015  
3:30 PM**

_“Now I remember where I got this number! I forgot, really, where I got this number but I remember that this was your number from years ago! Can’t believe you still use this. Imma leave messages until you contact me.”_

 

**May 6, 2015  
9:16 AM**

_“Clarence! It’s been two fucking days! If we don’t hang out today I swear to God I’m gonna drive to your brother’s, and I don’t care which brother, and I’m gonna egg his house. Don’t try me. You know I‘d do it.”_

 

**May 6, 2015  
12:05 PM**

_“You’re a little shit, Clarence. But whatever, as soon as Gabe saw me holding eggs he gave me your number. I asked him about this number and he said he doesn’t know why you still use this. Anyway, I won’t be calling here again. Toodles, Clarence.”_

 

**June 1, 2015  
12:21 AM**

_“Hi, Cas. It’s Dean. How are you? Um… thank you for seeing Sam on his birthday last month. Uh… good night, Cas._

_I love you_

_Ah, fuck.”_

 

**June 10, 2015  
1:18 AM**

_“Happy birthday, Cas. I gave the gifts I saved in the back of my closet for you to Gabe. I hope he delivers them. Thank you for still keeping this number.”_

 

**June 21, 2015  
12:31 AM**

_“...” ___

__

__**June 30, 2015  
4:04 AM** _ _

___“I miss you every day. Happy anniversary.”_ _ _

__

__**July 04, 2015  
11:25 PM** _ _

___“Hey, Cas. It’s me Happy fourth of July. I didn’t go to Dad’s. How’s your fourth of July?”_ _ _

__

__**September 1, 2015  
12:59 AM** _ _

___“Hi, uh.. it’s Dean. Sam caught me calling you last time. We fought, but you know how much I love that kid. He told me you called him months ago. He.. uh.. he.. he told me that.. that it’s alright for me to call. Haha. Uh.. I uh.. hah I don’t know what to say, Cas. Thank you._ _ _

___ _

___Good night, Cas.”_ _ _

__

__**September 5, 2015  
7:33 AM** _ _

___“Uuugh.. What? Oh. Oop.” ____ _

____ _ _

____**December 3, 2015  
2:06 AM** _ _ _ _

_____“Hello. It’s Dean. It’s been a long time. How are you, Cas? Sorry if I still keep on calling. I saw you today and I just realized how much I miss you. I know, I’m sorry. I feel like a creep. I’m glad you look fine. Me, not so much. I don’t know if you’ve seen me but I was told I look terrible… Not as terrible as before, but still.. terrible. According to them. Heh. I guess they don’t think I’m adorable now. Hehe. I see you got the job you were talking about befo--”_ _ _ _ _

____ _ _

____**December 3, 2015  
2:08 AM** _ _ _ _

_____“I got cut off heh. I see you got the job you were talking about before. How long have you had the job? Was the stressing over worth it? Are they treating you well there? AHEM *sniff*, excuse me. Tell me, is the pay great? Nah, I’m just kidding…_ _ _ _ _

_____ _ _ _

_____I don’t know why I called you, to be honest. I saw you today and suddenly I… *sniff* I realized I forgot about you.*sniff* And I don’t want to forget about you, Cas. I don’t want to forget. I know--”_ _ _ _ _

____ _ _

____**December 3, 2015  
2:10 AM** _ _ _ _

_____“Goddammit, I know you have your shit together now and sooner or later you’re going to meet someone and you’re gonna be happy, *sniff* but I don’t want you to be happy with them, Cas. *sniff* I want you to be happy with me! But I know that’s not gonna happen again because I hurt you! I hurt you so fucking much I almost killed you, Cas. I still can’t forgive myself that I almost *sniff* I almost killed you._ _ _ _ _

_____ _ _ _

_____God, I sound so selfish.”_ _ _ _ _

____ _ _

____**December 3, 2015  
2:12 AM** _ _ _ _

_____“I miss you, Cas. And I don’t want to forget. I don’t want you to forget. I don’t want to forget all the good memories we’ve made together. But I want you to be happy. You were too good to me, Cas. I.. I never deserved you, not ever.*sniff*”_ _ _ _ _

____ _ _

____**December 25, 2015  
4:00 AM** _ _ _ _

_____“Merry Christmas, Cas.”_ _ _ _ _

____ _ _

____**January 1, 2016  
12:51 AM** _ _ _ _

_____“Happy New Year, Cas. It’s Dean._ ”_ _ _ _

____ _ _

____**May 28, 2016  
9:26 AM** _ _ _ _

_____“Hey, Clarence! Wait. Oh shit. Right. Wrong number. Whatever. Where are you?”_ _ _ _ _

____ _ _

____**May 28, 2016  
10:15 AM** _ _ _ _

_____“Clarence? Claaaarence! Cas! Castiel! Castiel James Novak! I swear to god. Where the fuck are you? I’ve been waiting here for like an hour now!”_ _ _ _ _

____ _ _

____**July 17, 2016  
1:27 AM** _ _ _ _

_____“Hey, Cas. I started doing therapy a few months ago. I’m eight months sober now. I want to make it right. For you and for myself. I’m proud of myself. And now I’m gonna celebrate by pouring myself a drink. Hehe. Just kidding. I hope you’re proud of me. Bye.”_ _ _ _ _

____ _ _

____**November 13, 2016  
12:51 AM** _ _ _ _

_____“Hi, Cas. I uh.. how do I say this uh.. I met someone. I feel like I’m cheating on you but my therapist and sponsor told me I’m not. They believe in me, you know. And he believes in me. I met him at the meetings. We’ve been going out for a few months now. I haven’t said anything to Sam or mom yet. I have to make sure I don’t fuck it up before I tell them. I just want to tell you. Bye.”_ _ _ _ _

_____ _ _ _

_____**November 24, 2016  
12:16 AM** _ _ _ _ _

______“Happy Thanksgiving, Cas.”_ _ _ _ _ _

_____ _ _ _

_____**December 25, 2016  
3:50 AM** _ _ _ _ _

______“Merry Christmas, Cas.”_ _ _ _ _ _

_____ _ _ _

_____**February 10, 2017  
9:26 PM** _ _ _ _ _

______“Hey, Cas. Tomorrow I’m moving in with Michael. I introduced him to mom and Sam already. Heh. They like him. Not as Sam likes you, but he likes him enough. They get along too. He makes me happy. I hope you’re happy._ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______I hope you’re happy for me.”_ _ _ _ _ _

_____ _ _ _

_____**June 10, 2017  
2:00 AM** _ _ _ _ _

______“Happy birthday, Cas. I hope you’re well.”_ _ _ _ _ _

_____ _ _ _

_____**October 16, 2017  
1:50 AM** _ _ _ _ _

______“Hey, Cas… he proposed to me, and I uh.. I accepted it. Is it okay to be this happy? Do I deserve to be this happy? I feel it’s wrong for me to be this happy, after what I did to you. *sniff*”_ _ _ _ _ _

_____ _ _ _

_____**September 21, 2018  
3:47 AM** _ _ _ _ _

______“I’m getting married next week. I hope you come. Please.”_ _ _ _ _ _

_____ _ _ _

_____ _ _ _

____***-----------------LINE DISCONNECTED------------------***____

**Author's Note:**

> I don't really know what I'm doing. Please someone tell me what to do!!
> 
> I hope it's okay for you, though.
> 
> And I don't really know how phones get disconnected so I just put that there ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Also, I have no fucking idea why it won't italicize anymore from June 30 until the end. Does this website have some kind of a limit when it comes to italicizing sentences?


End file.
